7 Worst Dating App Pickup Lines (and what they mean)
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Welcome back, friends!
I’m heading to Denver, Colorado today for the Tinder Live 10th Anniversary tour, my critically-acclaimed comedy show where I swipe through the weirdest Tinder profiles in real time. This week and the next few weeks, I’ll be in the following cities and would love to meet you allll:
Denver, Boulder, Minneapolis, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Washington DC, Hamden, CT, New York City, Boston, and Philadelphia! WHEW! Tickets for all these shows are here. It’s seriously the most you’ll laugh all year, so you wanna be there for it!
Which brings us to today’s urgent business: the 7 worst pickup lines (and what they actually mean.)
For some reason, people still feel the need to use pickup lines, because once every 1,000,9086 pickup lines, they actually work. And these men who use them love those odds, baby!
I asked my Instagram followers for the worst pickup lines they’ve ever heard (and please god leave yours in the comments), so I could decipher them. Here’s the magical hell they sent me:
The pickup line you have to look up to get it.
You gotta love a pickup line that you don’t get at all until you google it. It’s niche, it’s special, they probably use it for everyone and are the reason that “who tf is handsome Squidward” is suddenly trending on Google searches.
Don’t worry. Because I love you, I saved you a search:
Now what does this mean? It means he’s Not Like The Other Guys. He’s quirky, he’s unique, he thinks he looks like…..this. Now, that’s pretty fun tbh, and it could be worse, but does it tell you anything about him? No. Is it tailored to you? No. Is he using it 40x per minute? Yes.
The one that thinks it’s “edgy” and funny, but it’s actually unspeakably offensive and chilling?!