Timothee Chalamet Is a Horny Tub Of Country Crock
Oscars fashion recaps you need for personal reasons.
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Welcome back, friends!
Last night I watched the Oscars the way we all do: through social media because I couldn’t find where to stream it live.
And I took note of the most important parts: the fashion.
For my Patreon family, you can listen to today’s podcast where I do deep dive about the 1990s red carpet commentary toxicity and where we are today with that (plus Bad Friends, endless to do list cycles from hell, 20something guys on dating apps being obsessed with cynacism (UGH!!!), and more, it’s all here.)
But since this is a much more visual medium, we are blessed to go through it together, so take my hand as I guide you through:
The Oscars Fashion: Heaven and Hell
Butter Boy: Timotheeeee Chalamet
Does he look like his Mom got him a job at a fancy steakhouse that Does Things A Little Differently Around Here, and every Grandma who comes in tries to pinch his little butter butt? Yes yes he does.
Pretty sure that was the goal here! Because why else would you look like a stick of butter that’s pasture raised by hot farmers?
Jeremy Strong: Best Bar Mitzvah Hottie
His Mom got TWO cakes, and a real DJ all the way from NYC!!! The DJ’s name is DJ Brixxx and he mostly plays Top 40 and it is kind of nothing, and that’s how you know he is rich.
Jeff Goldblum, aka everyone’s fun Dad or your Friend’s Weirdly Hot Dad dresses exactly as you’d expect and finds his Final Form…